


When Reason Fails Us

by Omgsomeonesomewhereonearth



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Arguing, College AU, M/M, Roommates, Soulmate AU, Tiny bit of Angst, but happy ending, getting together fic, lots of bickering, references to marital strife and divorce
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:28:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21858322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Omgsomeonesomewhereonearth/pseuds/Omgsomeonesomewhereonearth
Summary: Logan believes in soulmates. Why wouldn't he? They make perfect sense.His new roommate Roman, who has never listened to sense in his entire life, wants to give him a reason to question that belief.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Comments: 10
Kudos: 101
Collections: Sanders Sides Secret Santa 2019





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is for @pansexualdemonofpain on tumblr. I hope you like it <3 <3 <3

Logan had always held a favourable opinion of soulmates.

He found it difficult to understand why anyone would object to the concept of a life

partner literally chosen by fate to be compatible with oneself. It was a convenient system that seemed designed to alleviate heartache and confusion.

If only some people didn’t feel compelled to overcomplicate things.

“Listen, it’s just stupid, okay? Like, I'm supposed to let some dumb ink on my arm to tell me how to feel? I think not! Where’s the romance in that?”

Logan rubbed his temples wearily.

By the time they reached adulthood, most people managed to shed the idea – widely perpetrated by the media, unfortunately – that the soulmate system was somehow inherently oppressive and that somehow, it was “more romantic” to seek love outside the system, subjecting oneself repeatedly to heartbreak until they finally found a suitable stranger to build a life with.

Unfortunately, Logan’s new roommate had yet to come to his senses.

“Listen Roman, if you truly would prefer to waste your time trying to win the hearts of people who are scientifically proven to be better off with someone else, please be my guest. Personally, though, I have better things to do.”

Having made his point, Logan turned back to his work, hoping Roman would do the same. This was a conversation the two of them had had entirely too many times in their short time knowing each other and frankly he was too busy to have it again.

It was nonsensical and illogical. They both knew perfectly well the other would not be swayed and yet they continued to talk in circles until they were too frustrated to continue.

There was just something about Roman that Logan didn’t quite understand. With most of the frivolous people he had had this disagreement with, Logan had found it easy to simply ignore them. They were entitled to their own incorrect worldview, after all.

But with Roman…

Logan somehow felt compelled to argue with him on this, like he needed to prove the exuberant man wrong about soulmates.

…Well, okay, not just soulmates.

Over the last three months Roman had managed to rope him into a variety of ridiculous debates about a variety of even more ridiculous topics and Logan had – ridiculously – risen to the bait every time.

It wasn’t like he needed Roman to believe that the moon landing was real, or that the Loch Ness monster wasn’t, those things would remain true whether or not Roman acknowledged them. And yet, every time he made those ridiculous statements, Logan jumped up to disprove them.

It was a waste of time. He had work to do.

“-And another thing!”

Oh goodness, Roman was on his feet now, pacing the length of the cramped dorm as he ranted.

“According to you, the soulmate system ‘eliminates heartbreak’ right?”

“That – is correct, yes,”

“It ‘saves time’ that can be used on ‘more productive endeavours,’ in your words?”

“…yes?”

“The most efficient, convenient way to find a life partner!”

“I hope you realise that me agreeing to a point I made is not a win for you.”

“Alright, so what happens if you meet your soulmate and you don’t match their expectations? If you’re not good enough?”

Roman has always been loud, but he’s yelling now, standing in the middle of the room, his hands moving wildly as he gestures to make his point.

“Wouldn’t that be a waste of time, Logan? Imagine spending your whole life just waiting to meet the proverbial ‘right person’ , only to find that they’re actually the wrong person, and fate was a huge liar?”

“What you’re suggesting is an incredibly unlikely scenario – “

“How is it unlikely when it happens all the time, Logan? Can you really say that the divorce rate for soulmate couples is zero?”

“Well obviously one can’t leave out room for human error, but – “

“People get themselves into relationships and marriages that they’re not ready for because the system is essentially forcing them to believe that they’re in love with someone they know nothing about!”

“They know that the person is right for them and no one is ‘forcing’ them to do anything. Many people form happy queerplatonic partnerships or even very close friendships with their soulmates.”

Logan was uncharacteristically heated over this foolish argument. Maybe Roman was rubbing off on him more than he realised. “Now, if you’re done searching for problems where there are none, I’d like to get back to work.”

Finally, he could focus on the task at hand. Technically, Logan knew he had ample time left before he needed to hand in the assignment, but he preferred to have any work given to him done as soon as possible in case he got distracted closer to the deadline. Barely fifteen minutes had passes before Roman felt the need to open his mouth again.

“Well if soulmates are so perfect Logan, why haven’t you connected with yours?”

Logan went still. He barely knew Roman. How on Earth was he so comfortable asking him a question like that? What on Earth was Logan supposed to tell him?

“…What?”

Roman seemed to sense the slightly hostile tone in his voice, but though he faltered, he didn’t retreat. Something told Logan that Roman wasn’t one to back away often.

“I just… well, I mean… I don’t think I've ever seen you talking to them, or even about them…”

Logan was suddenly very aware of the small size of the dorm room.

“And since you’re such a big supporter of the system,”

Not for the first time, he wished the windows could be opened.

“I mean I’d think you’d be talking to them all the time, maybe even tried to meet up with them by now, how come – “

“I’m leaving.” Logan was at the door before he even noticed himself moving.

“I – I have work to do, I can’t get it done here – um… the library…”

He was fumbling with the doorknob. Were his hands always this shaky? Within seconds, Logan was on the other side of the door and walking briskly away. He had taken none of his books with him.


	2. Chapter 2

_Three years ago_

Soulmate bonds typically formed when people were in their mid-teens.

Therefore, Logan wasn’t quite surprised when he felt a faint tingling (though not entirely unpleasant) sensation on his arm in the middle of Chemistry class. After all, his parents had described the feeling to him many times.

Looking down, he saw a black line meandering across his wrist, forming into a flower. He barely heard a word uttered by his teacher as he watched another flower be connected to the first by a thin line.

By the end of the class, Logan had a bracelet of inked flowers around his wrist and he was none the wiser about organic chemistry.

He had run home at, waving his arm excitedly at his parents, thrilled to finally have something to show of this mysterious person he’d been waiting for so long. He spent hours, thinking about what exactly he should say to his soulmate (his heart figuratively buzzed every time he thought those words, _he had a soulmate_!), hours that eventually turned into days as he tried to carve the perfect response.

He had to be very careful not to accidentally stain his hands during this time. This person deserved to meet him at his best, and most put together- through a polite but eloquent note that retained a warm tone and opened the door for further communication.

Meanwhile, he was simply happy to watch his arms as his soulmate decorated them with flowers of different varieties, drawings of fantastical creatures, and – to his absolute delight! – lines of poetry, some of which he was familiar with, and others that he had to look up. He had, admittedly, been a little sceptical when his parents had told him they’d been in love before they’d ever met each other, simply through their bond. Now, he couldn’t help but feel like he fell a little further each time he felt his arm tingle with the knowledge that someone out there, someone creative, and intelligent, and brilliant was somewhere in the world, waiting for him.

It was a Saturday when Logan finally decided to communicate with his soulmate. After he had completed all his homework, by the light of his desk lamp, he retrieved his favourite fountain pen and drafted an appropriate greeting before copying it out onto his arm, careful to avoid the elaborate doodle of a chimera that his soulmate had put there in the morning.

To ~~whom it may concern~~ my soulmate,

In the interest of safety, I will not share my legal name, though you may refer to me by the initial L. I find you very intriguing and am excited to communicate with you further in the interest of strengthening our pre-existing bond. So far, I am able to determine that we have a common interest in poetry. What is your favourite poem? I look forward to hearing from you.

Regards, Your Soulmate, L ~~o.~~

He reminded himself it was perfectly normal that his soulmate didn’t respond immediately, they probably hadn’t seen the note yet. He certainly didn’t stare at his arm throughout the course of his dinner, or stay awake in anticipation of an answer before he went to bed, or wake up an hour earlier than he usually did on Sundays to see if there was a response.

His heart sunk when he woke up to see the angry, red lines slashing through his message.

I DON’T NEED SOULMATES.

His mother had attempted to comfort him, reminding him that his soulmate wasn’t the only person who was right for him, it certainly didn’t mean he’d be alone, there was far more to life than finding a soulmate. But Logan was fine. He was a rational person, and therefore his soulmate must be one too. It made perfect scientific sense that the two of them would end up together and if they didn’t realise it now, some day they would.

At present, he just had to do his best to not pressure them, but wait for them to come around, and be there for them when they did.

Present Day

Logan hadn’t even realised how far he actually was from the library until he found himself on the other side of campus. He’d come to a relatively isolated part of the grounds, a small area of trees and nice benches. This would most likely be a nice place to study when he was feeling less internally conflicted.

He sat down with a sigh on a bench. Had the sun been going down when he’d set out?

He was fine.

Truly, he was absolutely fine.

Roman was merely an idiot, he hadn’t meant to be cruel or hurt his feelings, and even if he had, it wouldn’t matter because Logan’s feelings were not hurt. He…hated to admit it, but he had hoped that he would be able to make friends with his roommate when they’d first met. Despite being a student of science, Logan had respect for the arts and was interested in learning more about the theatre major’s field of study.

Roman had been a bit much when they’d first met, but back then, his over energetic energy hadn’t seemed too unbearable. Somehow, they’d gotten to where they were today. Logan wondered if it was too late at this stage to formally request a change of dorm arrangements.

…

It had been a month since the day Logan had stormed out of the dorm room in frustration and his and Roman’s relationship had changed considerably. Looking at the situation objectively, Logan would have to say that the change was for the better. They couldn’t necessarily be classified as friends, but they were able to speak to each other in a casual tone, they rarely argued these days, and no one had brought up the topic of soulmates at any point.

And yet…somehow, Logan couldn’t help but feel as if he’d lost something. It made no sense when he tried to put it into words, but in a strangely twisted way, he missed their regular disagreements. They’d reached a sort of standstill, Roman wasn’t bothering him anymore, by all means, he was free to get as much work done as he pleased. Only he wasn’t. It was nearing midnight, he had an assignment due in _days_ , he had been staring at it for an hour without actually doing anything productive and yet somehow his mind was wandering to Roman.

Ugh.

Logan rubbed his eyes furiously, reaching towards the mug of coffee on his desk before realising that he’d tried to drink out of an empty mug. He groaned into the silence of the dorm room, turning to glare at Roman’s bed. At least he had previously had an annoying roommate to blame his lack of focus on. At present said roommate was out, mostly likely with people he actually considered friends. Maybe if he just took a short nap, he would wake up, rejuvenated and…

“All right Patton, I’ll see you later- woah, Specs, how are you still awake?”

“Uh…what-“

Roman was standing over him, peering at him with a look of concern.

“I clearly wasn’t awake,” Logan grumbled, trying to maintain a modicum of dignity as he sat at his desk in rumpled pyjamas and messy hair with his glasses hanging off his face.

“Well why on Earth are you ‘not awake’ at your desk in the middle of the night?”

“I’m… need to work.” Was he entirely sure Roman was here right now? In his sleep deprived state, under the dim yellow light of his desk lamp, Roman looked almost ethereal, like an absurdly attractive angel conjured by his most irritating thoughts- wait what?

“Okay, come here, Logan-rithm,” Okay, fuck whatever he had been thinking about earlier, because right now, the strong arms wrapping around his middle, and Roman’s soft, warm voice, guiding him into his bed, was definitely here, he was real, and dependant, and right there for Logan _._ “Get some proper sleep, nerd. Your work will still be here when you wake up.”

“Nnngg… why… we’re not even friends…”

If Roman paused at all in the middle of wrangling him into bed, Logan was too tired to notice. He was curled up and warm now, but he didn’t want to fall asleep, not if he had to stop looking at Roman; goodness, had he always been this handsome?

“Go to sleep Logan.”

Oh, okay, _fine._

…

“Morning nerd.”

“Good morning, Roman. I trust you had a productive rehearsal.”

Roman snorted, flinging himself upon his bed with an air of casual elegance worthy of Oscar Wilde.

“Bit of a step down from all the charming things you were saying last night, but I suppose I’ll take it. My rehearsal was fine I suppose,“

Logan didn’t hear a word that Roman had spoken after. What on earth had he said? He couldn’t recall much from the night prior.

He remembered working at his desk, and he remembered almost falling asleep there, but he’d awoken in his bed, to a paper full of spelling errors and half-sentences that honestly posed more questions than it answered – clearly his sleep deprived self wasn’t nearly as coherent as he’d thought.

He did have the vaguest memories of Roman coaxing him into bed but he hadn’t been entirely sure those were real until this minute.

Apparently, they were.

And apparently he’d also voiced some fairly embarrassing thoughts.

“What did I-“

Roman stopped mid-sentence to grin at him, before taking on the demeanour of what Logan could only assume was a possessed, drunk, zombie.

“Well technically you just mumbled ‘hnngg… pretty’, but don’t worry, my mind filled in the rest.”

Oh.

Naturally, Logan couldn’t deny that his roommate was attractive, but there was a plethora of reasons him saying it was inappropriate. He made a conscious effort not to rub at his arm. He’d been worried about having lost his previous camaraderie with Roman, and now he’d thrown away any chances he’d ever had of returning to it.

“Do you really think we’re not friends?”

The sudden shift in Roman’s tone was startling. The weirdly soft, almost vulnerable look from last month was back.

Clearly, his mother hadn’t been joking when she said lack of sleep hindered his ability to think clearly.

“I- I only meant that we are not very close, I did not mean to hurt you, in any way- I apologise if-“

“No, stop, stop that,” Roman waved his hands around, shaking his head. “No, don’t- you don’t apologise, I didn’t mean- I’m sorry, it’s not your fault, I’ve just…”

He trailed off, taking a deep breath. “I’ve been trying to make friends with you for a while now, I guess, I just didn’t realise I was failing so spectacularly.” He huffed out a laugh, but the self-deprecating humour didn’t distract Logan from the fact that he wouldn’t meet his eyes.

Admittedly, Logan didn’t have a lot of friends, and therefore not a lot of reliable data for successful friend making, but-

“What have you been doing that you assumed would make me want to be your friend?”

…that came out ruder than he wanted it to.

Roman looked a little sheepish. “Well, you know, you seemed smart, and you have a lot of, like, opinions, so I… talked to you? About things I thought you might be interested in, and stuff, like… oh! You know, like the moon landing, we talked about that,”

Wait, what?

“You… pulled me into all those ludicrous debates because you were trying to be my friend?”

“Well, you always argued back, what was I supposed to think?”

He certainly couldn’t deny that Roman had a point.

“I truly didn’t realise the debates were upsetting you until the day you walked out.” Roman spoke sincerely, “And so I stopped. I mean, I didn’t stop wanting to be your friend though.”

Logan shook his head firmly. “To be perfectly frank, I have found myself missing our repertoires. I would not mind resuming them, provided that we no longer touch _that_ topic, if you don’t mind.”

He decided to ignore the voice in his head declaring that Roman’s relieved grin was the most wonderful thing it had ever seen.

“Although, Roman, I must ask…”

“Yeah?”

“Please tell me you don’t actually believe the moon landing was faked? You just made that up in an effort to goad me into a debate, right?”

“Actually, no, if you read these articles I found, they actually make some very compelling points- no, don’t you shake you head at me Logan.”

“Roman, we are not having this conversation, I promise you I have read and debunked every ridiculous theory available.”

“I bet you haven’t seen these ones. Look!”


	3. Chapter 3

“My parents were soulmates.”

The statement came out of nowhere, on a Sunday evening when Roman had dragged him out of the dorm, insisting that studying for hours without break can’t be healthy. They were at the same spot Logan had found, all those months ago, sitting together on what had become ‘their bench’. They came here together a lot, when one or both of them needed to get out, to talk and laugh and think. Logan liked being out here, because it was beautiful, it was calming, it was an escape, but most importantly, it was time alone with Roman, with no chance of his roommate’s other friends bursting in to hang out. It belonged solely to them.

Most people, including Logan himself were rather surprised to see that the two of them had become so close, as different as they were. Really, the only person who didn’t seem to think it was strange at all was Roman.

He turned to look at him now, awash in the dim glow of the nearest street lamp, and tried not to think about the way his friend looked in the pale golden light.

“Roman?”

Roman looked down, smiling sadly. His hand sat on the bench between them, and Logan couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if he were to take it in his own. He then brushed that nonsensical thought aside in favour of listening.

“They met in high school,” Roman said, “They were in love from the very beginning.”

His voice was weird and wobbly and watery. Neither he nor Logan had broached the subject of soulmates for months.

“I do think they were really happy with each other in the beginning.” There was a bitter sting to his voice as he uttered the last part. “But then they weren’t.”

“Roman you needn’t-“

Roman continued as if he hadn’t heard him.

“They should have left. When the relationship started falling apart, my mother wanted to leave. But they were soulmates. They were soulmates, my dad said, so they could make it work. They should have been able to make it work.”

He gasped shakily, and Logan realised that his entire form was trembling, as if he was crying, but with no tears whatsoever.

“And then they just kept doing that.” He finishes quietly. “When everything told them they should be breaking up, they got married. When any other couple would have gotten a divorce, they had a child instead.”

Roman finally looks at Logan, his mouth twisting upwards without any kind of humour in his expression.

“I think by the time I was thirteen I knew I didn’t want anything to do with that. Pretending I was happy, just because I was meant to be happy- I didn’t want that to be my life.”

Oh.

This time, Logan didn’t ignore the impulse to grab Roman’s hand. Propriety could wait. His friend was in distress, and Logan intended to comfort him. Surely he could put aside his own confusing feelings for this. Roman gave him a rueful smile squeezed his hand gratefully.

“I’m sorry Specs.”

“You?” Logan looked at him, bewildered. “You have not done anything to me?” Roman had just shared something that was clearly difficult for him, what reason had he got to apologize? Logan was the one who had no idea how to comfort him-

“I don’t know, I didn’t mean to put this on you out of nowhere, I just – my mother called me the other day, it’s been weighing on me. They’ve finally decided to sperate.” He huffed out a humourless laugh. “Better late than never, I suppose. I only wish they’d done it sooner so I hadn’t had to live with it my whole life.”

“Please,” Logan gingerly moved closer. “I am glad that you chose to talk about this; if something is distressing you, it is good to speak about this with someone who cares for you.”

Roman’s smiled, but he didn’t speak, so Logan knew he must keep going.

“You know, my parents were soulmates as well.”

“No. _Your parents_? _Really_?”

Logan had never been one for divulging a lot of personal information, but this was Roman, so he took a deep breath and told him everything. Roman was his friend, so he told him how he used to dream of his soulmate. He trusted Roman, so he told him about the pressure he’d always felt to hit it off with his proverbial ‘one true love’. He believed that Roman would understand, as he described the feeling of inadequacy he’d felt since he was fifteen, telling him he had failed.

When he finally finished, it was silent. Logan worried that he’d done the wrong thing. Perhaps Roman talking about his experience wasn’t an invitation for him to do the same-

“…Logan- I had no idea…”

“It is all right. Neither did I.”

He hadn’t realised he’d started crying, until he realised, he couldn’t see Roman’s face clearly anymore. He removed his glasses so he could wipe them, and then Roman was the only thing he could see.

This time, Logan didn’t pretend not to notice his beauty.

“Are you alright?”

“I’ve never been less alright in my entire life.” Logan smirked shyly at Roman, as if he hadn’t made himself incredibly vulnerable mere moments ago. “For the first time in our companionship, I have to concede defeat to you. You were correct about soulmates.”

Roman let out a small disbelieving laugh, shaking his head.

“I’ve been correct about a lot of things before this point, nerd.” He made a show of preening before turning to grin back at Logan. “Good to see you finally acknowledging it.”

Logan allowed himself a small chuckle, before sobering.

“No, but _, really_. This…issue has been weighing on me, for a very long time. And because of you, not just this conversation, but our entire friendship, you have encouraged me to look at the world in a different way, to question the things I've always accepted _. Thank you_ , Roman.”

“Aww, nerd, if I didn’t know any better, I might think you actually liked me!” Roman teased.

 _If only you knew_ , Logan thought.

“Roman, really!”

“Alright, alright, I’ll relent, go on, tell me how great I am, then.”

Logan rolled his eyes. Trust him to be so very taken with the most infuriating individual he knew. He took a deep breath, already uncertain about the next thing he was going to say. He couldn’t bring himself to meet Roman’s eyes, so he focused instead on their joint hands. They fit so perfectly together.

“I just…I've spent entirely too long waiting for someone, a complete stranger, because I thought they would save me from getting hurt, despite the fact that I was already hurt, over them.” He couldn’t help but laugh, despite how painfully true the statement was. “And I'm supposed to be intelligent.”

“Nah, we’re all stubborn idiots sometimes. I mean, you know that, you hang out with me.”

“That makes it even more embarrassing that you were the one who helped me see sense.”

Roman’s laugh was exquisite, he decided, as he watched the other tip his head back in genuine glee.

“So, uh…what does this new revelation mean for you now?”

“I'm not sure what you’re asking me.” Logan hadn’t missed the way Roman had inched slightly closer to him as he asked the question. If he weren’t a more sensible man, he might allow himself to hope… no, that was ridiculous.

“Well, I mean, it’s no secret that you don’t exactly do things, you know, romantic or whatever…”

“Oh, um, well…” he dearly hoped his face wouldn’t betray him. “I am certainly more open to, well, to certain things than I may previously have been, however, I'm not about to go and seek a relationship with someone just because-“

“What if someone asked you?”

“You- what?” A prank, surely, Roman was teasing him, he was suggesting an entirely far fetched scenario, and besides he wasn’t saying he wanted to ask Logan, so – “Well, I mean, I suppose, if someone were to ask me, and I doubt anyone would, I would definitely be open to saying yes, although- um, Roman?“

Roman was smirking at him in a way that made Logan’s insides feel very strange indeed.

“Alright, well, that’s something to keep in mind.”

“What – Roman – what does that mean!”

“Oh, don’t you fret about it now, Logan. Come on, it’s getting late, let’s go.”

“Wait, no, you cant just say that and then not explain yourself – Roman!”

…

Roman made his intentions clear a few weeks later, at exactly the same spot.

“I- are you serious?”

“I've never been more sincere, my dear nerd.”

“…You and me?”

“If you’ll have me.”

“…”

“…Are you okay? You’re uh, kind of scaring me there, Logan. You know, it’s okay if you’re saying no-”

“No! I mean- well, I mean, this is simply rather unexpected, Roman, I don’t know how to-“

“Really? Because I feel like I've been dropping a few hints.”

‘Dropping hints’ was an extraordinary understatement. Roman had been more or less flirting shamelessly with him nonstop since he’d stated that he was no longer opposed to pursuing romance. Even Logan wasn’t that oblivious when it came to matters of the heart, but he simply hadn’t wanted to submit to false hopes, until Roman outright asked him to be his boyfriend.

“Well, I must admit, that um, well, I have also harboured feelings of the romantic variety, for you, and therefore would certainly have no objections to us starting a relationship.” He wondered if he looked as flustered as he felt. “I am sorry. I know that wasn’t the most romantic confession, but-“

“I loved it.” Roman interrupted. “I absolutely adored it, and I absolutely adore you, no one could have done it better, oh-!”

Logan had pulled him into a kiss. Perhaps acting on blind impulse wasn’t the worst thing in the world after all.


	4. Chapter 4

“I've been thinking”

“That’s dangerous”

“Oh, hush!”

Logan chuckled as Roman swatted lightly at his arm, pouting in mock offence. The two of them were cuddled up on Logan’s bed, arms and legs curled around each other in an attempt to fit into the cramped space. Even now, Logan couldn’t help but marvel at how wonderful it felt, how perfectly they fit together.

“Lo-o-gan-n!” Roman whined, nudging his head against Logan’s chest in an attempt to get his attention.

Logan moved his hand up to play with his hair.

“What is it, dearest?”

“I think you should write to your soulmate.”

“What?”

Logan drew back a little so he could look his boyfriend in the eye. He wasn’t quite sure he’d heard correctly.

“I mean, just to say goodbye!” Roman scrambled up to correct himself, waving his hands around frantically as he spoke. “I feel like you should just send a little message their way. Let them know that you’re not waiting for them anymore or anything like that.”

“When did you get all sentimental about soulmates?”

“It’s not that…” Roman grumbled. “I just… I don’t know.” He pouted, and Logan was almost too concerned to reflect internally about what a pleasant sight that was.

“You’re my boyfriend!” Roman burst out suddenly.

“You’re certainly correct about that, but I still don’t see why-“

“I know that you’re my boyfriend and therefore, the identity of your soulmate doesn’t really matter, because for all intents and purposes, I’m your soulmate and that’s what’s important and – “

Roman was rambling, tripping over his words in a way that Logan had never seen before.

“Roman.”

“Right! Sorry, sorry, I know I normally don’t care about soulmates and you don’t either, but, you know, you used to!”

He stared at Logan beseechingly. “And you’ve been caring about them for so long, that even though you don’t really know who they are, and you never really spoke, it still kind of feels like they were in your life.”

Oh.

Roman was looking down now, slightly red in the face from his sudden outburst. How long had he been holding these thoughts in?

“Um…Roman? Are you…experiencing jealousy?”

Romans face flushed even more. “Maybe…a little bit? Is that okay? I’m sorry, it’s just-“

“Roman.” Logan pulled his boyfriend back to lie against him. “It is perfectly fine. And if I may be completely honest with you, it’s also somewhat attractive.” Roman whined at that, poking him in the side, and Logan chuckled.

He’d be lying if he said the idea of Roman being jealous over him didn’t do wonders for his ego. And really, he certainly had no room to complain, he’d felt his fair share of the emotion before they’d gotten together.

“Besides, I feel like it’s a good ending to your story.”

“My… story?”

“No, your story. You and them. They left you, but you never got to leave them back!”

“I - brushing aside the fact that that makes no sense, I am more than willing to do this if it makes you feel more comfortable. What do you want me to say to them?”

Truth be told, Logan had almost forgotten that he had a ‘soulmate’. Even though they hadn’t been together that long, the idea of someone other than Roman being destined for him felt ridiculous.

…he could _hear_ his past self-berating him for that statement.

“Oh, I don’t know, something like ‘Not-so-dear soulmate, I have found love in the arms of another, so you can fuck right off-‘”

“Roman!” Logan couldn’t control his laughter, even as he tried to look stern. “I am definitely _not_ writing that, for all I know, they’re a lovely person – hang on, let me go get a pen.”

Logan sat for a while with his pen hovering over his wrist. He’d spent the larger part of three years wondering thinking about if and how he should communicate with his soulmate. Now that he’d been presented with a reason to, he found he had very little to actually say to them.

Dear,

No, too friendly,

 ~~Dear,~~ To my soulma

Well, no, then they might mistake his intentions

 ~~Dear~~ To ~~my soulma~~ whom it may concern,

Logan groaned. This was why he liked to draft his notes before he wrote them!

“Uh, Logan?” He turned back to see Roman staring at his wrist as if he’s never seen it before.

Wait. No. _Really?_

“No.” Both of them spoke at once, Roman looking every bit at scandalized as Logan felt.

“That’s- no that’s stupid, I refuse to believe it, I won’t believe it!” he declared, shaking his head and frantically rubbing at his arm. “We can’t – no! I _pride myself_ on making my own, independent decisions, I- _what?”_

Logan let out a disbelieving laugh, saying nothing. _Of all the things._

“Logan? We’re soulmates?”

“So it would seem.”

“Logan? Are you alright?”

He turned to smile at his soulmate, no, _boyfriend,_ Roman was his boyfriend, regardless of any new discoveries, their relationship was far more authentic than any predetermined bond. He and Roman had still chosen each other, without needing to be _told-_

Wait a minute.

“Did you know? When I told you my story, did you guess?” he demanded, perhaps a little more sharply than he’d intended.

Roman shook his head empathetically. “I mean, I vaguely remembered that I’d been contacted once by mine, and well, perhaps I wasn’t as nice as I could have been, but in my defence _I was going through a lot back then_ , and it was a bit of a sensitive topic, but I never made the connection-. Logan, I swear, I didn’t have a clue. I mean, you know that if I’d had an inkling about this, I probably wouldn’t have pursued you in the first place.” He jokes awkwardly, but Logan suddenly feels sick.

“Oh. I see.” he rose stiffly “Well, I have enjoyed our time together very much.” He was fine, truly. He’d recently managed to come to grips with the fact that he could love people other than his soulmate after all, so he should be alright going forward.

“Where are you going?” Roman sounded absolutely bewildered.

“Well, I assumed that you will now wish to end our courtship, so…”  
“What?” he shot up, reaching for Logan and pulling him close. “I wish to do nothing of the sort. I mean, do you really think I'm going to let the best person I've ever been with slip away merely because you’re my soulmate?” he scoffed.

Logan suddenly felt very warm and also very silly all at once.

“Oh.”  
Roman laughed right next to his ear and _wow, that was incredible, how had he been so lucky?_

“I guess this means you win, huh?” his boyfriend joked, pulling him into a kiss. “Are you going to go back to being infuriating now that you’re right?”

“Excuse you, I am always infuriating, and you know full well that you love me for it.”


End file.
